Yo yo yo (that's like "ho ho ho" for hipsters and gangsters alike)... we have a winner! Woop! Remember this competition? Yeah well, just as we were closing our inbox on Monday afternoon an email filtered through hailing from Perth and some dude called Shane. We were all like "what evs" cause we're tough here at Comeback Kid y'all but it didn't take long for us to work out that Shane is a lot funnier and way talented at putting words onto paper than we'll ever be. Since then George has quite Comeback Kid and finally enrolled into a university after years of dissing her educated friends. Patricia initially was crying from laughter (Shane = funny) but his tears of joy have turned into tears of sorrow and he's joined a self help group in an attempt to regain his confidence. Thanks a lot Shane but, um, congratulations! Love your work. (Is it worth it? Let me werq it. I put my thing down flip it and reverse it). Enjoy dear readers, this is a hell of a lot better than anything we've ever posted:
Fabulous in Flanno?Or, why I declared war on Bintang singlets and other fashion faux pas Australia seems to embrace.
By Shane Newton
Recently, I got called a faggot on a bus for wearing a yellow Lacoste polo shirt. It was on a private wine-tour and was shouted at me by a chubby guy in his early 20s with serious short-angry-man syndrome (you know those people who nobody remembers at high school reunions... he’s one of those).
We hadn’t even gone to the first vineyard so I wasn’t giving him the benefit of the doubt by thinking he was intoxicated. “Yo faggot… I’m going to call you ‘glamour’ for the next five hours on this trip” he says to me as we wait to board. In complete shock (and no bus to throw myself under – because I was in it) all I could do is ask, “Why?”
“Because you’ve got a collared shirt on… that’s why… GLAMOUR!”
Editors Note: Hello Bali, not hating on you.This guy was sporting a Bintang singlet, a pair of ruggers and the nastiest fake Prada sunglasses eBay has ever auctioned. I like to keep an open-mind and believe everybody should live and let live – wear and let wear. However, the Lacoste saga is a reminder that upholding personal style in public is like entering a war zone; and who wants to enter the battlefield wearing just a FCUK shirt and Billabong boardies?
Editors Note: Shane, suck it up, Cross Colours was legendary.From being ridiculed for wearing form-fitting Cross Colours (I was young and naïve) to female friends mistaking staple items (like plain cardigans and jumpers) as their own, it’s never easy expressing yourself through personal style. Growing up, it was difficult for me to take criticism on what I wore (and I would consider my style quite conservative- not really over the top, gaudy or idiosyncratic). I got teased in high school so much for wearing skinny jeans (this is in the late 90s when skinnies weren’t as common for guys) that I didn’t don denim for about five years!
The clothes people swan about the city in is their business… but when people with absolutely no taste (don’t even get me started on the fake Von Dutch movement) start throwing judgement... it’s a declaration of war.
Generally, Australian men’s fashion focuses more on conformity than individuality. This is contributed by many factors, including isolation, limited access to options and a need for belonging/identifying with what it means to be “Australian.” (How many surf-brand tees do YOU own?) Another reason could be that large fashion chains like Zara, H&M and Topman aren’t established in Oz, forcing Aussies to shop limited ranges at DJ's/Myer.
Editors Note: Miss you Corey.Some Aussie guys do appreciate an alternative to the masses – preferring to fossick through vintage stores, purchase goods from online boutiques or find that unique piece that nobody else will be wearing (on the same night, at the same venue!). We’re never going to win the war on bad taste, but what we can do, is put down the epileptic-inducing-fluoro, “insert cliché brand name” t-shirts and Indo knock-offs and focus on what feels right… for us!
Throughout phases, fads and trends, personal style will stand the test of time. My style keeps me comfortable, even without the emblazoned clichéd slogans and brand names.. and I’m OK with that, and you can be as well. Remember… when in doubt, brazen it out!
Yours,
Shane (Non Bogan Perth Dude Legend Man)
Editors Note: We added that final bracket y'all...
